Rape is the penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person with a penis without consent.
Rape occurs when someone does not give their consent for sex to happen, but rape is not sex.
The Sexual Offences Act 2003 says that someone commits rape if all of the following happens:
- they intentionally penetrate the vagina, anus or mouth with their penis.
- the other person does not give their consent to the penetration.
- they do not reasonably believe that the other person consents.
This includes:
- the two people are married or in a relationship
- the other person consented to one type of penetration (for example vaginal or oral sex), but another (such as anal)
- someone removes a condom without the other person`s permission – or lies about putting one on. This is also known as steathing.
Rape is a serious crime and holds the same maximum sentence as murder: life in prison.
If you have been raped or sexually assaulted, it’s important to remember that it was not your fault. At all times you deserve to be treated with dignity, listened to and understood. Being a victim of rape, sexual assault or abuse is a difficult and traumatic experience. Help is available to you, whenever and wherever the offence occurred. It is never too early or too late to ask for help. Remember, you do not have to report the crime to the police to get support.
Typical Emotional Responses
There is no correct or incorrect way to feel after experiencing sexual assault. Each person responds uniquely, and a wide range of emotions is a natural reaction to trauma, Common reactions to sexual assault can include, but are not limited to:
Fear or anxiety of:
- Who to trust
- A similar event happening again
- Being left alone
- Breaking down or losing control
- About what might have happened (especially if you can’t remember everything)
Anger at:
- What has happened
- A lack of support or understanding from others
Helplessness:
- Feeling a loss of control over life, or that the world is a dangerous place
Sadness for:
- Being hurt, emotionally and physically.
Guilt or self-blame:
- Feeling somehow responsible
- Regret for things done and not done
Shame:
- About what has happened
Detached:
- Everything feeling unreal or strange
Normal Physical sensations
Physical sensations are often reactions to stress and can develop several months after the event. Some common feelings include:
- Feeling tense or irritable, uptight or panicky
- Heart racing, or chest feeling tight
- Dizzy or lightheaded
- Stomach churning and loss of appetite
- Difficulty sleeping or nightmares
- Poor memory and concentration
- Difficulty making decisions
- Feeling depressed or low in mood
- Change in sex drive/sex dysfunction.
REMEMBER – YOU are not to blame for this happening to you.
Self-Care Following Sexual Assault
Statistics
1 in 14 women have experienced rape or assault by penetration as an adult (Office for National Statistics, 2023)
1 in 300 men have experienced rape or assault by penetration as an adult (Office for National Statistics, 2023)
Between October 2022 and September 2023 67,938 rapes were recorded by the police
Just 2% of rapes recorded in the year ending March 2023 resulted in a change by the end of the year (Home Office, 2023)
36% of all sex offences are rape (National Police Chief Council, 2023).
Myths and false narratives
Unfortunately, myths and false narratives surrounding rape and sexual violence exist widely within our society. These may exist as myths regarding sexual violence which are sometimes referred to as “rape myths” although these myths may refer to other forms of sexual violence as well as rape. Rape myths may include beliefs such as:
- A belief that what a victim was wearing somehow contributed to the sexual violence they experienced. For example, asking “what was she wearing?” when told about an incident of sexual violence. This is victim blaming as it implies that the sexual violence endured was the victim’s fault, that the victim has some responsibility or that the victim could have avoided sexual violence if they had dressed differently. Sexual violence is never the victim’s fault and does not correlate with their outfit, or anything else.
- A belief that a victim was ‘asking for it’ based on behaviour perceived as ‘risky’ such as being alone at night or being intoxicated. The reality is that victims are never ‘asking’ to experience sexual violence and their behaviour is never to blame. The perpetrator of violence is always responsible for the violence, never the victim. Women deserve to be safe in all environments.
- A belief that sexual violence is usually perpetrated by strangers. Whilst sexual violence crimes committed by strangers does occur sexual violence is much more likely to be perpetrated by someone known to the victim.
- A belief that women lie about being raped or that they ‘call rape’ when they regret having sex with someone. Whilst false allegations do occur, they are incredibly rare. The reality is that most people who experience rape or any sexual violence never report this to the police.
Crucially these rape myths are exactly that – myths. They do not reflect the reality of sexual violence and can make the experiences of victims of sexual violence harder as they may result in victim blaming and contribute to rape culture. The amount that somebody believes rape myths is known as “rape myth acceptance”.
“Rape Culture” refers to a society where sexual violence is normalised, trivialised and minimised. Rape culture is fuelled by sexism and a belief that women and girls are ‘less than’ men and boys. Examples of rape culture include:
- ‘Slut’ Shaming – stigmatising a woman for engaging in sexual activity.
- Victim Blaming – where victims are blamed for the sexual violence they experience or are not believed.
- Misogynistic or Homophobic ‘jokes’ – these aggravate a narrative that sexual violence and misogyny are accepted.
- Hyper sexualisation and Objectification of women – this occurs when women are seen as existing for male pleasure rather than individuals deserving of equal respect and power.
- Violent pornography – violent pornography naturalises ill-treatment of women and girls.