What is Domestic Violence and Abuse?

Domestic violence and abuse  occurs when someone in an intimate, personal or family relationship uses violence or abuse to control and have power over the other person. It relates to any event, or pattern or events, where someone has behaved in a threatening, violent or abusive way. The abuse could be  physical, sexual, emotional/psychological, financial, coercive or online.

Recognising Domestic Abuse

The first step to gaining support for an abusive situation is to recognise that your relationship is abusive. This can be challenging. Women’s Aid offer some important advice for recognising domestic abuse and when asking yourself if your relationship is healthy.  Take our quiz here. These resources can be useful in understanding your relationship as abusive or healthy.

Right now, around 80,000 people in the UK are at the highest risk of being seriously harmed or murdered by their partner. And they’re not the only ones at risk – almost 100,000 children live with this abuse too.

Every victim and survivor should get the right help, at the right time, to meet their needs.  People at the greatest risk of death or serious harm as a result of domestic abuse, should get the most urgent help.

This means every victim at high risk should have a dedicated domestic abuse professional (an IDVA – independent domestic violence advisor – or an IDAA – independent domestic abuse advocate in Scotland) who can understand their risks and needs and implement a personal safety plan which reduces the risk from the perpetrator and increases safety for them and their children. And it also means the IDVA works together with other professionals and frontline services to protect them and their whole family.

Are you concerned about your own behaviours? Click here for more information

Because all relationships are different, and there is no such thing as a ‘normal’ relationship, but there are healthy and unhealthy behaviours in relationships, signs are not always as obvious as you might think. Take this quiz created by Relate to find out if your relationship is in good health.  That’s because domestic abuse is about controlling someone’s mind and emotions as much as hurting their body. Being abused can leave you scared and confused. It can be hard for you to see your partner’s actions for what they really are.

Usually, physical abuse isn’t what comes first. The abuse can creep up slowly. A putdown here or there. An odd excuse to keep you away from family or friends. The violence usually increases over time and often ramps up once you’ve been cut off from other people. Perpetrators don’t always cut off victims from family/friends – they can operate in plain sight.

If you are in an abusive relationship, you may feel anxious about researching domestic abuse in case your partner finds out. Find out how to cover your tracks online.

Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (‘Clare’s Law’)

If you are concerned that a new, former, or existing partner has an abusive past you can ask the police to check under the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (also known as ‘Clare’s Law’). This is your ‘right to ask’. If records show that you may be at risk of domestic abuse, the police will consider disclosing the information. A disclosure can be made if it is legal, proportionate, and necessary to do so.

If you are concerned about a friend or family member, you can apply for a disclosure on behalf of someone you know.

You can make a request to the police for information about a person’s previous violent offending in person at the police station or elsewhere, by telephone, by email, online or as part of a police investigation. Support agencies and services can also help you ask the police about this.