It’s never easy to admit when we’ve crossed a line or overstepped the mark. But if you can think of a situation when your behaviour has upset, embarrassed, hurt, controlled or coerced someone – whether someone you know or a stranger – be honest with yourself. It’s the first step to making a change for the better.
We’re not only talking about deliberate acts of serious violence. Abuse takes many forms – verbal, emotional, sexual and physical. Some people don’t recognise the impact this behaviour can have on the person who experiences it. Or that many of these behaviours could be criminal.
Admitting that it is your behaviour that is making your relationship unhealthy is the first step to making a change. You may have grown up in a similar environment or feel unable control how you feel, so it takes real courage and determination to change your behaviour.
You can take our quiz here.
Outside of your home
Have you ever:
- Made sexual comments about a woman/man to your mates/colleagues?
- Made suggestive comments to a woman/man when they were clearly unwelcome?
- Followed or tracked where someone is going?
- Pressured a woman or a man for sex until they gave in, even though they said no?
- Made someone at work feel uncomfortable, upset or afraid of being alone with you?
- Acted unprofessionally towards someone at work, such as repeatedly commenting on how she/he looks or making sexual innuendos?
With your partner
Have you ever:
- Shared or shown an intimate photo of your partner without her/his knowing?
- Repeatedly told your partner you don’t want them going out with their friends, or told them what they should or shouldn’t wear?
- Seen your partner looking scared of you?
- Forced your partner to have sex, even though she/he said no?
- Act jealously or manipulate your partner to do as you want?
Does any of these sound familiar?
Deliberate or not, this behaviour is never OK. If you know you’ve done some of these things to someone, you can change for the better.
Further information and support:
Domestic and sexual abuse – Portsmouth City Council– website from Portsmouth City Council providing advice and intelligent signposting to services across the city.
HIVE Portsmouth, a directory of services.
Hampshire Police – if you are worried about your behaviour.