Defining stalking
Stalking is a criminal offence. What makes stalking particularly hard to cope with is that it can go on for a long time, making you feel constantly anxious, fearful, vulnerable and afraid. Sometimes the problem can build up slowly and it can take a while for you to realise you’re caught up in an ongoing campaign of abuse.
Social media and the internet are often used for stalking, and ‘cyber-stalking’ or online threats can be just as intimidating.
Stalking includes repeated attempts to impose unwanted communications and/or contacts on another in a manner that could be expected to cause distress and/or fear in any reasonable person.
Stalking can happen to anyone. It is unwanted pursuit and can be carried out, for example, by a former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, an acquaintance, work colleague, or a stranger. It can take many forms including:
- contact at work
- unwanted gifts
- threats of suicide
- texts
- going through bins (for useful info)
- regularly following them
- contacting family members – to isolate victim
- Repeatedly calls your phone, including hang-ups
- Uses other people to try to communicate with you, like children, family, or friends
- setting up false accounts on the internet (identity theft)
- damage to vehicles.
Unwanted intrusions include:
- following
- waiting for
- spying on
- approaching
- accosting
- going to a person’s home.
As well as unwanted communication and intrusion, the stalker may engage in several associated behaviours including:
- ordering or cancelling goods/services
- making vexatious complaints (to legitimate bodies)
- cyber stalking (use of the internet to facilitate the behaviour)
- threats
- property damage
- violence.
SAFETY ON THE STREET - Planning ahead
- Plan your route before you set off.
- Before you go out, consider how you are going to get home, for example, can you travel home with a friend? What time does the last bus/train leave?
- Prepare for your day before you leave – consider what you might need.
- Update someone on your plans.
- Consider carrying a personal alarm.
- Plan your journey – google street view is particularly useful for identifying landmarks in an unknown area before you set off.
- Try to use well-lit, busy streets and use the route you know best.
- Avoid higher risk areas.
- If you think you are being followed, trust your instincts, and take action. As confidently as you can, cross the road, turning to see who is behind you. If you are still being followed, keep moving. Head to a busy area and tell people what is happening. If necessary, call the police.
PERSONAL ALARMS
The purpose of a personal safety alarm is to shock and distract an attacker, giving you vital seconds to get away. As there are many different types, choosing the best one for you can be difficult. Here are some tips on how to make the right choice.
Important alarm features:
- Sound. If an attacker is to be shocked enough to pull away from you, this sound needs to be as loud and as shrill as possible. It is a common misconception that alarms will attract others as, if there is no one around, or others are far from us, they may not be attracted to the sound. The most effective sound is continuous and over 130 decibels (approx 138db is ideal).
- Easy to use. Your alarm needs to be easy to carry and easy to set off in one hand.
- Activation. How would you operate the alarm in an emergency? There are many different ways to activate different types of alarms, including push caps, push buttons and pull out pins. How fiddly is it to activate it? Do you have problems using your hands or fingers? Can it be operated simply by being pushed against something?
When and how to use an alarm:
The primary function of an alarm is to distract an attacker.
- Set off the alarm, holding it as close to the attackers face as possible.
- Drop the alarm and make your escape. If it is by the attackers feet, it may also act as a visual distraction, as well as an audible distraction.
- If you are able to attract the attention of passers- by, you are more likely to get help if you shout a specific instruction – such as “Call the police!” This makes it clear that you are in danger and need help.
Remember: Once you have set off your alarm, leave the situation as quickly as you can, moving to a busy area if possible. Don’t wait to check that your alarm has had the desired effect; just go.
Remember: A personal alarm should be just one part of your personal safety plan. There are other tools you can use to help yourself feel safer.
What can you do if you or you know someone is being stalked?
Is someone in immediate danger? Is a crime taking place or has one just happened? If so, call 999 now and ask for the police. If you are deaf or hard of hearing, use the textphone service 18000 or text 999 if you have pre-registered with the emergencySMS service.
Although there is no universal set of steps that will work for everyone, these actions may help you feel in control of your life again:
- Call 999 for Immediate Assistance – You know yourself and your situation better than anyone. Trust your instincts and call for help if you feel you are in danger.
- Alert Others – Tell trusted friends, family, neighbours, coworkers, and/or your HR department to keep an eye out for suspicious activity and so they don’t mistakenly give out information to someone pretending to be a loved one.
- Connect with an Advocate – Advocates can often be found at local domestic violence and/or sexual assault agencies, police departments, and district attorney’s offices. Advocates can help explain local stalking laws, walk you through filing a protective order, connect you with local services, and help you develop and create a safety plan.
- Document Every Incident – Make a log of encounters with the stalker, hang-up calls, and public sightings. Save all messages, emails, and your call history.
- End All Contact – Sometimes this is easier said than done, but try not to answer calls or messages, even if you are requesting that the stalker stop. Any contact may encourage the stalker to continue the stalking behaviour.
- Take Threats Seriously –A direct threat against you is an obvious sign of danger. A stalker can also use threats of suicide or self-harm to manipulate you into staying in contact or a dangerous situation.
- Prepare Your Children – Teach your children what to do if there is an emergency, like where to hide if there is danger in the house, or how to call the police or a trusted person for help.
LINKS TO:
Consent – Rape and Sexual Offences – Chapter 6: Consent | The Crown Prosecution Service (cps.gov.uk)
National Stalking Helpline 0808 802 0300 or visit their website.