Sexual assault

After experiencing a sexual assault, many men and women fear that they are losing control over their lives. They have been forced to participate in an act that was against their wills. They lost control over their lives at the time of the assault, and this feeling of loss of control may continue after the assault.

After an assault it is not unusual for the victim or survivor to experience a significant loss of interest in sexual relations. It is understandable that sexual assault trauma would lead to an avoidance of sexual activity. There may be other factors involved, however. For instance, it is very common for people who are depressed to experience a decrease in libido or sexual drive. Some of these reactions are connected with each other. For some women, having flashbacks, for example, may increase their concern about losing control of their lives and may even intensify the fear responses. In other words, the responses to being sexually assaulted often interact with one another and may cause the overall response to become more intense.

Additionally, trauma can affect sexual desire in numerous ways. For some, it can cause both hypersexual and hyposexual behaviours. The ways that it impacts sexual desire are based on the person’s response to and type of trauma experienced. Remember, there is no right or wrong way for someone to experience their trauma or to personalise it, but it can increase, decrease, or even sometimes eliminate sexual desire.

For those that experience hypersexuality as a result of trauma, there can be various causes. One main cause of hypersexuality after trauma is due to the person’s desire to reclaim their power.

Often, there is a strong theme of powerlessness that sexual trauma victims or  survivors experience after such an event, so engaging in sexual activity afterward that the survivor is able to initiate and control can be a way to reclaim what they feel has been taken away from them.

If the individual’s sexual desire isn’t compulsive, and generates feelings of pleasure and self-confidence (while remaining consensual between everyone involved), this can be a helpful and empowering way to heal from sexual trauma.

However, others might engage in hypersexual behaviour as a distraction—a way to cope with or to avoid experiencing the emotionally-charged thoughts that often follow sexual assault and/or sexual trauma. This can be potentially harmful, and may lead to feelings of shame, alienation, and could worsen the effects of any dissociative symptoms.

It is not unusual to see a disruption in relationships with others after a sexual assault. This is, in part, a result of the withdrawn behaviour that frequently accompanies sadness and depression. The victim or survivor may also feel embarrassment and ashamed about what happened to them. However, the support of friends and family plays a vitally important role in the recovery from the trauma of sexual assault.

Another common reaction to sexual assault is a sense of sadness or depression. There may be feelings of hopelessness and despair, frequent crying spells, and sometimes even thoughts of suicide. A loss of interest in activities and things that previously were enjoyable often accompanies these feelings of sadness and despair. Nothing seems like it is fun anymore.

Self-image frequently suffers as a result of the assault. Many victims or survivors report feeling “dirty” and may take frequent showers in an effort to feel clean.

The most common source of guilty feelings is the result of self-blame. The victim or survivor tell themselves such things as, “I should not have been out that late,” or “I should have been dressed differently,” or “If I had been more careful about locking the door, this would not have happened.” Sexual assault victims or survivors may also feel guilty about what they had to in order to survive the assault, such as activities the victim or survivor felt that they had to engage in an effort to save themselves from serious physical harm or even death. In some instances, guilty feelings result from the fact that others may have been seriously harmed more than the victim or survivor. This is referred to as survivor’s guilt.

Sexual assault victims or survivors may find that they have trouble concentrating on things. It is as though they cannot keep their minds on what they are doing. This is can be frustrating and add to the sense of loss of control.

Victims or survivors may re-experience the assault over and over again in their thoughts and/or in their dreams. When this happens, it is almost as though the assault is actually occurring again. This re-experience of the event is called a flashback.

The most common victim or survivor reaction to sexual assault is fear. At the time of the assault, most victims or survivors have an overwhelming experience is fear– of being physically injured (beaten, cut, shot, etc.) or even of being killed. Fear responses associated with the assault (to certain sights, sounds, smells, thoughts, etc.) can persists for weeks, months, or even years. Victims or survivors who have been assaulted typically avoid anything which reminds them of the assault (places, situations, people, etc.). Some men and women become so fearful that they greatly restrict their activities, even to the point that they are unable to leave their homes or to be left alone.

The most common victim reaction to sexual assault is fear. At the time of the assault, most victims or survivors have an overwhelming experience of fear- the fear of being physically injured  or even of being killed. Fear responses associated with the assault (to certain sights, sounds, smells, thoughts, etc.) can persists for weeks, months, or even years. Victims or survivors who have been assaulted typically avoid anything which reminds them of the assault (places, situations, people, etc.). Some men and women become so fearful that they greatly restrict their activities, even to the point that they are unable to leave their homes or to be left alone.

Fear and anxiety are difficult to distinguish from each other. In general, fear usually has a specific object (person, place, situation, etc.) that is identified as the feared object. Anxiety (worry, uneasiness, distress, etc.) on the other hand, is usually vaguer. For example, weeks, even months, after the assault, it is not uncommon for victims or survivors to describe a feeling of general uneasiness or jitteriness– a feeling that something bad is going to happen.

Victims or survivors of sexual assault may experience both fear and anxiety. Long after the assault, they continue to experience a fear response triggered by any number of reminders of the sexual assault. The triggers or stimuli might be certain features of the man who assaulted you, such as skin colour, facial hair, body build, type of dress, and so forth. It might be related to the situation or the setting in which the assault took place, such as dark nights, country roads, or even your own home. In other words, anything which remind you of the assault may serve as a trigger for a fear response. Places, situations, smells, etc. are often avoided because these stimuli remind the victim of the assault and trigger the fear reaction.